Thursday, March 26, 2009

Lenny Kravitz - "Again"

Sorry for the weeks without any updates or posts...

This week's pick is off of my life soundtrack. Music has always been a huge part of my life. All the songs on my life soundtrack are songs that have special meaning to me, whether it reminds me of a specifc time in my life or I simply relate to the music/lyrics. "Again" by Lenny Kravitz is a little of both.

This song became a favorite of mine during my senior year of high school. It actually was the song I had with a guy I was with. I know it may be strange of me to have a song on my life soundtrack that reminds me of a guy other than my husband, BUT, this song has come to mean more to me than just this guy.

A little background:
This guy I was with was younger than me. He was actually quite a bit younger - a freshman - and I was a senior. Yes, I know...I was THAT girl. The relationship was actually kept a secret (as long as possible), which is what made it special. We had relationship completely separate from all the high school drama, gossip, and expectations. We actually had a relationship that lasted as a friendship. But, I don't want to get into details about the relationship. All I want to say about it is that it was a special relationship. This song became "our song" because of the lyric "I wonder if I'll ever see you again." The whole secret relationship thing...

when this guy was a freshman in college (I was a senior in college and pregnant with my first baby) I found out that he had committed suicide. It was heartbreaking for everyone. Suicide is always tragic, but having someone close to you commit suicide brings it to a whole different level. The strange thing about the experience, is that few people even knew that I was close to him. Few people knew that we had a relationship and even fewer knew that we had remained friends. My family was even surprised by my reaction because they didn't know that I even knew him. I felt like my mourning process became a secret, just like the relationship. Inside I was devistated. He was a dear friend of mine. Now the same phrase that originally made this song "our song" has a new meaning:
"I wonder if I'll ever see you again."

This song not only reminds me of this guy, it reminds me of a time in my life when I made time for the people that mattered to me even if it didn't make sense. It reminds me to stay connected with the people that matter. It reminds me that moments are priceless and to hold on to every detail because it keeps us connected to each other.